It Had To Be Him
Written for inspiration to those spared from the attack on 9/11/2001
That day I chose to do things
in unusual ways for me.
...I stopped to say goodbye
to my children at day care,
...I chose to take a break, and
take a walk with a loved one,
...I stopped to buy some mousse
for my spouse’s hair,
...I called in sick, because I
felt exhausted.
And, then I saw how destruction
claimed my place of employment.
And, then I saw how death
claimed those with whom I worked.
I realized then, that I was spared;
perhaps by Divine Providence.
God for some reason chose to bless me.
And, the nagging question rings around my heart,
Why me and why not them?
Two thousand years ago
Someone did things in ways
that were very unusual for those days.
...He took time to bless the children
...He stopped to heal the sick
...He cared enough to free those that were bound, and
...He had enough compassion to forgive their sins.
Then those whom He loved
captured Him,
scourged Him, and
crucified Him.
And, then I realized, that he who had no sin,
died for me a sinner.
That I had been spared
by Divine Providence.
God, because He loved me, blessed me
by sending His Son to save me.
And, the thought nags me,
while it should have been me,
it had to be Him.
Raul Diaz 9/23/01
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A Tribute To Heroes
When we all ran out, they all ran in:
The Fireman,
The Paramedics,
The Police Officers.
They challenged the circumstances.
They defied the danger.
They put themselves in harms way, so we were out of harm.
They risked their lives, so that ours stayed intact.
They put their lives on the line, to rescue ours.
(And, at times they gave their lives to save us.)
It takes a special kind of man and woman to do what they do.
And, God saw fit to create them.
The kind we should all call heroes
The kind that when we all run out for safety,
They all run in to secure our safety.
Raúl Díaz
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At The End Of The Day
At the end
of the day
As I think
of what I've done,
Of what my
contribution has been...
I wonder,
“Have I made a difference?”
Oh, there
was a time when
the answer
to that question was, "Yes!
I feel fulfilled
with all of my accomplishments.”
At the end
of this day I feel differently...
I don't feel
challenged.
There is
little fulfillment in what I do.
I don't feel
I make a difference anymore.
So, I will
move on at the end of this day.
Tomorrow
I will face
New and greater
challenges somewhere else,
Where I can,
once again,
Contribute
and make a difference.
And, at the
end of that day
I will feel
fulfilled with all that I have accomplished.
For: Marletta
Knowles
By:
Raúl Díaz
April 18,
2002
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You, Too, Are A Winner
Looking at the winners of a sport event,
I thought of the things they go through
to achieve the levels of performance that made them victorious.
The price they pay, to get the prize.
What is the price they pay?:
Sacrifices,
Long hours of work, and very little rest
Self-denial of pleasures
Fighting debts and fears
Asking yourself: “Is it worth it?”
“Did I make the right choice?”
“Am I doing the right things?”
Suffering through hurt and pain,
Following the daily boring routine
Learning to say, “No!”
The anxiety of anticipation
Concerns and worries
Wanting encouragement, and
Unmet Needs
And, while fans and sympathizers rejoice to see
them win
as if it was them winning.
Only the winner knows first hand and personally
the thrill and joy of victory.
They know that their prize was not just won, they earned it.
They paid the price.
Does this, by any chance, sound familiar?
Well, maybe you are not an athlete.
You have, however, paid the price to earn the prize.
You, too, are a winner!
For: Anita L. West
From: Raúl Díaz
Sunday, December 9, 2001
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If Your Life As A Song 9/29/02 by Raúl Díaz
At this moment when you celebrate
Such an important milestone
You may ask yourself, “How have I Lived my life?”
If it were a song, how would its melody sound
And what would its lyrics say?
What type of rhythm would it be?
If your life were a song
Who would sing you?
Who would hum your melody?
Who would rehearse your lyrics?
Who would smile when they heard you?
If your life were a song
Whose heart would you touch?
Whose life would you change?
If your life were a song
Would you still be remembered after you are gone?
Would you become a classic
and be discussed like most classic songs?
Would others write about it?
If your life were a song
Would yours inspire others to write their own songs?
Songs that like yours would make others
Praise God, Glorify the Son, and Honor the Holy Spirit
Oh, If your life were a song
Would others sing you?
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In Him I believe
The question came to me
“Would you like to be made whole?”
Why wouldn’t I?
38 years of suffering
Laying on this mat
No one to help me
No one to commiserate
No one to give me hope
Would I like to be made whole?
I would love to…
…At this point, nothing but a miracle would do.
Then I heard His words
“Get up, pick up your bed and walk!”
Suddenly, I felt my body come alive
My muscles became firm
I felt blood coursing through my veins
There was power in those words
And I believed them to be true
So I stood up, picked up my bed and walked
Just as His powerful words commanded
And, while others may criticize this man
His words made me whole
So, in Him I believe!
October 2002
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Birthday Reflection
To Hemaxi Patel
Today is not just one more day.
Today, I’m a year older.
It makes me reflect on things...
How many more of these days shall I see?
How long shall I go before I sleep? And,
What will I do until then?
It’s paradoxical to me...
I once grew up, and now I grow deep.
I look back at my life and realize that
while my youth is fleeing from me,
I still feel young in many ways.
I still have a lot to live, learn, and love.
I can still enrich the legacy I leave behind.
Today is not just one more day,
It is the beginning of the rest of my life.
By Raúl Díaz
August 24, 2001
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Unsung Heroes
To the Medical Laboratory Worker
I’ve heard of heroes
But, often not
Of unsung heroes
The ones seldom talked about
The ones seldom celebrated
The ones who in their daily routine
Perform clinical tests that can save a life
From sorrow and pain
And, sometimes, even death
I’ve seldom heard
Of the ones who can help bring
A little comfort and hope
To those they cannot save
I’ve seldom heard of them
I’ve seldom heard of you
Raúl Díaz April 1999
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A Little Piece Of Your Heart
This child that is to be born
Will bring joy and pleasure
To your home
He will be a gift from God
A little piece of love
Taken from your heart
This child that is to be born
Will be your bundle of joy
His suffering will be yours
As his joy will be your’s, too
His failures, will be your failures
As his successes, will be your’s, too
You will put your hope in him
And, for him you will give your life
If necessary
This child that is to born
Will change your priorities
Only God will be more important
All will be seen and measured Through this child
That will be like a piece
Taken from your heart.
For: Nidia Rivera
From: Raúl Díaz
2001
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Reflection
One more of these days that marks a year
One more of these years that makes me older
And I wonder...
How many more of these shall I see?
How long shall I go before I sleep?
Irony, I once grew up, and now I grew deep.
But, my youth has not left me.
It’s matured. It’s now wiser.
It now enjoys life on a smoother, better way.
Now, I can look back and ask,
“Have I grown old or wiser?
Or maybe both?”
Raul Diaz
2001
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Forgiveness
Perhaps it was something I did
Perhaps it was something I didn’t do
But, whatever it was
I am clueless
I am oblivious of what it could be
That I have done or haven’t done
One thing I do know
There is something
I must ask of you
There is something that I pray you give me
Not a reason
Although, I’m not close to that
Not an explanation
Although, I’m open to that
But, what I want is
FORGIVENESS
And one more thing
I beseech you to give me
A chance for
RECONCILIATION
That we may re-acquaint yourself with me
That I may re-acquaint myself with you
That in time we may learn to love one another
Like Christ was loves us:
UNCONDITIONALLY
That no matter what you or I may do to the other
Or may not do to the other
Their may be trust to share the pain
That we may cause to each other
And we may always forgive one another
Like the Father in heaven forgives us
Raul Diaz 1999
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Why?
I cannot describe my pain today
I cannot bear my anguish
My grief is heavy
My sorrow overwhelming
Inside me there is emptiness that’s dark and dense
And to not know why makes me restless
Because I just don’t understand
Why?
Why do birds fall from the sky?
Why do flowers wilt?
Why do rivers dry?
Why does grass burn?
Why do leaves turn brown?
I would like to know why
Because I don’t understand
Why the promising fails to deliver
Why the hopeful are exterminated
Why? Why? Why?
I would like to know why
Who was the cause for this disgrace?
Could it have been prevented?
It’s now too late to ask questions
My life is dressed in black
Tears cloud my being
And in my soul there’s still the question
Why?
Raúl Díaz 1997
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Eleven Years At IDPH
Today I have some news, My dear
That never crossed my mind I’d share
I’ve been working here eleven years
Such long time I have faired
Where is the celebration, then?
Donuts, Bagels or the cake
I thought about my goods friends Ben
and Jerry, but they were fishing by the Lake.
I also thought about your health
‘Tis the season comes to soon
Since your body is your wealth
You’re better off, dancing to a Season tune
Well, I have to go, my duty calls
To test more babies one more day
One day plus eleven years I see these walls
One day plus eleven years I’ve earned my pay
Raúl Díaz 11/1/99
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Two Hearts by Raúl Díaz
Today these two hearts are joined together
beating as one
in harmonious syncopation
for more reasons than one
for nurture
in sickness or health
for support
in wealth or poverty
for comfort
in the good or the bad
until death separates them
and no longer they beat as one.
April 1, 2000
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Today is Vimla’s Day
Let us sing a song today
That reminds us of you.
Let us paint a picture today
That portraits you.
Let us eat your favorite food.
Let us drink your favorite drink.
Let us smell your favorite flower.
Let us celebrate today.
Because today is for you.
Let the sun shine
Let the flowers bloom
Let the birds sing
Let the celebration begin
Today is Vimla’s Day
Let us all rejoice
Let us celebrate with her
Let us sing to her Happy Birthday.
For Vimla Patel By Raul Diaz
2000
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Thoughts On Early Retirement
Raúl Díaz 12/10/02
Sometimes in life
Once-in-a-lifetime opportunities present themselves
And, if you do not seize them
They may never come again
And, you can feel when this is the case
Because, they make you wonder, “What if…?”
Because, it’s the one thing you dreamed you should do
But thought you never could
Because, your gut tells you it is the right move at the right time
Some may say, “Now may be too soon.”
I answer, “Later may be too late.”
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The Last Time
I never knew
the last time we said, “Good-bye,”
would be the last time.
I never knew
the last time we said to each other the words, “I love you,”
would be the last time.
I never knew
the last time I saw your smile
was a moment that would be worth remembering.
Today I search my heart for those little moments
of heartfelt connecting.
Remembering those little moments
soothe my heart,
ease my pain,
comfort my sorrow, and
help my tears flow more freely.
I, seemingly, can cling unto You
a little longer.
And while I may never see your face again,
I can still see your smile.
While I may never hear your voice again,
the words, “I love you,” still ring in my heart.
And perhaps one day I will be able to say the words,
“Good-bye,” for the last time.
To Lorna Ligon On The Occasion Of The Death Of Her Mother.
Raul Diaz 10/23/01
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Fly and Beautify
You’re a flower in bloom
A butterfly discovering its wings
Let your petals open in full beauty
Let your wings spread in all its width
Fly!
Let the wind carress you and carry you
where you’re going
Let the aroma of your petals
fill the gardens you beautify
Celebrate and be your maturity
Let yourself be a Woman
Raúl Díaz
4/12/98
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Tomorrow and Today
A window opens
when the door has closed.
A chapter starts
when the previous one ends.
As the day folds
another one unfolds
Tomorrow becomes today.
Today becomes my past.
I made a choice today
for a different tomorrow.
Today brought its challenges.
(Which I tackled head on.)
But, tomorrow will bring new ones.
(Which I’ll confront with my usual intensity.)
My new tomorrow
will bring a new today.
Raul Diaz
6/4/1998
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Happiness and Sadness
We feel a mix of emotions
On the one hand
We are happy for you
But, only because you’re happy
Only because it is something you wanted
And you got it
On the other hand
We feel sad to see you go
We will miss you, you’ve become
An important part of us
So part of us leaves with you
But, there is one feeling that is certain:
A feeling of assurance and trust
That you will do well
That you will excel and succeed
Because, that is the way you are.
Raúl Díaz 8/14/98
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THE BIG CHANCE
Spend your time waiting for the big chance
You look around, you search, you inquire
Looking for open windows or open doors
You think of knocking the wall down
And making your own way
But something says, “wait!”
So, you continue to look, search and inquire
And one day the little window you can barely fit through opens up
And you say to yourself, “Can I reach it?
Will I be able to fit through when I get there?”
And the battle begins
To climb up, to reach the ledge
An Arm, A leg, the whole body
You must reach it before it closes again.
When you get there
You push your self through
Without knowing where you’ll fall
And you go through
and you realize,
It was worth the wait
It was worth the effort.
Raúl Díaz
12/15/98
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Celebrating My Blackness
I'm a mix
I'm white, I'm indian, I'm arabian
and I'm african too.
My nose testifies it.
My sense of rythm re-affirms it.
When you look at my body
you can see it -
I'm african too.
It runs in my blood.
I have blackness,
and I'm proud of it.
My grandma sat in the kitchen,
but then,
so did everyone else.
Raul Diaz
12/4/1998
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Ode to a Black Woman
You’re like mahogany:
strong and hard, yet
smooth and delicate.
You’re like ebony:
strong and hard.
But, when touched the right way
you produce beautiful music.
Oh, touched and worked
by the right hands
you’re an art piece.
You’re like poetry in motion.
Because, you only give yourself
to hands that treat you the right way.
Hands that are tender, yet firm.
Hands that care about you.
Hands that treat you as you deserve:
like top quality wood
in the hands of a woodworker.
Like ebony.
Like mahogany.
Raul Diaz
12/24/1998
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You’re Smell
You’re smell lingers in this hallway
That’s how I know you were here
I look for you
Like that silly bird in that cereal commercial
I follow my nose
It takes me to you, for you leave a trace
That aroma you spread, the odor you emit
Is like a signal to me
And, as I get closer to you
The signal gets louder
Then I find you
We hug
And when we separate you stay with me
Because you’re smell stays with me.
Raul Diaz
1/20/99
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God spent more time on you!
God spoke everything into being
But us, he formed with His hands
Our bones, muscles, skin
Every organ, every limb
Every physiological system.
He spent time on us
to make us all in his own image.
Then, I see you
Beautiful as you are
A great example of God’s creative gift
Someone to behold
Yes, to behold!
And it makes me wonder,
as the song says,
“God must have spent
a little more time on you!”
Raúl Díaz
2/5/99
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Chicago, Il 6/6/99
I heard the beat of the drums:
Sticks, congas, timbales, chekeré,
bongoes and claps.
A syncopation of rythm
that made my hips move automatically.
Those who weren't playing the drums were dancing:
hips swaying, legs moving
front to back, back to front;
if not, lest to right, right to left.
A conga line of about 20 people
almost grinding each other
in the frenzied celebration.
Amongst all this, a third group was singing
with all their might and heart.
They were keeping up with the beat
a chorus that went like this:
"Oh, eh; to Puerto Rico I'll go.
Oh, eh; to Puerto Rico I'll go."
As my body responded
to the cadence of the beat
the words of the chorus
took my heart to the small town
where I grew up in Puerto Rico.
I remembered that one afternoon
when we broke down
in a similar beat to today's.
We were jamming:
dancing, and singing to the beat
a chorus that went like this:
"Ah, eh. Forever here I will stay
Ah, eh. Forever here I will stay."
I almost cried when I realized
that I had broken my promise.
But, as I danced and sang
I felt comforted.
Although I left Puerto Rico
Puerto Rico had never left me.
It remained in my heart
with a chorus that went like this:
"Forever in my heart you will be.
Forever in my heart you will be."
Raul Diaz
6/6/99
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Sofrito
Zizzling sofrito on the pan frying
with Salsa ‘e tomate y sazón Accent
When I smell you, I go, “UMM, que sabroso.”
¿Que estas spicing up next?
You despiertas my appetite
Mi imaginación goes wild
Mi estomago starts grumbling and my mouth se ensaliva
Preparing them beans: marco diablo o rosita
Maybe, Fricasé ‘e pollo or of cabrito
Arroz con Gandules, or maybe garbanzos
Preparing the meat for pastel o alcapurrias
Sofrito Sabroso!
You sizzle and tu olor drives me loco.
Raul Diaz
9/3/1999
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The Chimney
I suffer so others can be happy
This is the misery of being a chimney.
In the fall they start burning me inside
while in the outside I freeze
with nothing to cover me
In the spring, when I think
I’m going to rest
a big bird comes and builds a nest on top of me.
In the fall they leave,
And I think Rest at last
Think again, the cycle continues
They burn me inside again
While in the outside I freeze
I often think it is the fate of being on the rooftop.
One thing is certain…
I suffer so others can be happy
Raul Diaz
2/9/97
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