A small collection of Irish Jokes

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A small collection of Irish Jokes

A small collection of Irish Jokes.....

Father Murphy was drivin' in New York and lookin' around and smashed into
the back of Rabbi Moshi's car. An Irish cop drives up, gets out of his
car, looks around and says to Father Murphy, "an' tell me father, just how
fast was 'e backin' up when 'e run inta ya?
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An Irishman goes into the drugstore to buy some deodorant.
The clerk asks, "Ball or aerosol?"
The Irishman replies indignantly, "Armpit!"
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Their was two Irishmen sat on the floor and one fell off.
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An Englishman, an Irishman and (egad!) a Scotsman were yet again legless
at the top of a cliff when they decided to have a bet. They each bet one
another a tenner that if they dropped their watches off the cliff, they
would be able to scramble down the side and be at the bottom in time to
catch the watch. So the English man dropped his prized seconda over the
edge and scrambled frantically down, missing his target by hours. Then the
Scottsman dropped his watch down and scrambled down the cliff and was
likewise fruitless. Then the Irish man dropped his watch off the cliff,
took a 4 mile round about path to the bottom of the cliff, stopping for 2
hours along the way in a pub, and caught his watch in very good time. The
others then sorta stared at him bemusedly. He shrugged and said "My watch
is slow"
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The latest Irish inventions:
inflatable dart-boards
ejector seats for helicopters
pedal-powered wheel-chairs
solar-powered torch (this is actually useful)
pocket size A4 pad of paper
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Q: why don't Irish toilets have doors on them?
A: so people can't look through the key-hole.
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Q: what does it say on the bottom of Irish milk-bottles?
A: open other end.
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